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In October of 2016, I loaded up an empty 3L bottle (previously Takara Masamune mirin, which is a great hon-mirin, by the way) with shallots, ginger, garlic, peppercorns, salt, and a great abundance of Thai chile peppers (these were dried but it doesn't really matter; you can use fresh bird's-eye peppers or siling labuyo or whatever), then poured apple cider vinegar into it until the bottle was full to within a few centimeters of the top.

I have now opened it, decanted the vinegar, and set aside the vegetables and spices: Here I have pickled ginger and ingredients for an excellent sambal. The vinegar itself is violently flavorful.

As for sambal, my breakfast this morning was an act of nuclear proliferation. Of course, I must describe it.

First, I picked out the ginger slices, since they were still pretty firm and fibrous, as ginger is, though somewhat softened. So perfect. I julienned them and set them aside.

Then, to make sambal, I took some of the peppers, shallots, peppercorns, and garlic and pulverized them in a large stone mortar and pestle.

Finally, I sliced a couple of vegan Italian sausages.

I got a heavy cast-iron skillet pretty hot, put a little oil in it, and tossed in the ginger. Already the overhead fan was a necessity: The air immediately took on a conspicuously volcanic character. Then, after stirring that around for about half a minute, I added the sausages, and a minute later, the sambal, stirring all the while to prevent scorching.

Once the sambal went in, I turned up the speed on the fan. At this point the air in my kitchen was suitable for trench warfare.

Another half a minute later, I added soy sauce and shut off the heat. Finally, after I'd stirred that in, I deglazed with mirin (a task to which mirin is exceptionally well-suited.)

I now had my burrito filling. So I toasted a couple of tortillas, spread vegan mayo on them, laid down the filling, and sprinkled on some of the new spicy vinegar. Then I rolled them up and subject myself to delicious pain.

I'm glad my stomach puts up with me.

Confirmed: Tempeh goulash is quite practical.

I would like to have browned it more. The recipe suggested adding paprika "while cooking", however, and there was a risk of the paprika burning. Next time I will add it later to extend the browning.

Hey ArtSnacker,

You may see the statement "This product contains cadmium" on both A and B tubes. Don't let this fool you! Regular cadmium paint tubes require this warning sentence (US only). We can assure you that one of these tubes is definitely cad-free.

The Liquitex Team

There's a little pamphlet in the box which explains what they're doing: For two colors, they are providing one tube each of their regular cadmium-pigmented acrylic and their new formula which does not use cadmium. If you read that first, then it makes sense and is perfectly un-alarming: They are challenging artists to compare them and try to guess which one is which.

Separately, however, they also added in a little card with the above text on it--to reassure me, I suppose--and if you read that first it looks instead like they just have no idea what they did with their cadmium and it comes off kind of scary if you haven't dug deep enough to find the pamphlet yet. A friend remarked that, really, they should have just put the contents of that card at the end of the pamphlet.

First read this.
Then read this.

On one hand, they've demonstrated a respectable capability in materials engineering. On the other, they've applied it to stoking a well-documented type of paleolithic hysteria about people's junk in order to sell them expensive underwear, and they're nearly halfway to their funding goal already.

Remember: These animals have thermonuclear weapons and moderately advanced chemical rocketry.

This worked out quite well, so I shall post it here for your enjoyment, should you be inclined to try it.

First, you will need kvass. You could buy kvass, or you could make it. In case you don't live near a Russian market, I will tell you how to make it.

1. The Kvass

Kvass is a fermented drink made from bread.

For the kvass, you need sugar, raisins, yeast, and black bread. Very dark eastern-European-style breads with lots of rye work well, as does pumpernickel. I won't tell you how to make the bread here, as it's beyond the scope of this post. I trust you can either obtain it or know what to do with rye flour, wheat flour, yeast, molasses, salt, sugar, and water, and how to wash your talons before sticking them in a bowl of dough. Let's not get too many levels deep here.

Cut a few slices off the loaf. I recommend two to four (depending on the size of your loaf) about a centimeter thick for ease of toasting. Toast them, and toast them hard. You want Maillard reactions, and you want caramelization. Don't be afraid to burn them a little. Turn your black bread even blacker. Don't turn it into carbon, but toast it well. You want singed croutons here. This is vital to the flavor of the kvass. Inadequately toasted bread will yield not kvass, but beige disappointment.

Next, fill a pot with two liters of water and boil it. (There will be a slight loss of volume to the bread and to filtration later.) Turn off the heat, then toss in the toasted bread slices. Rinse a few dozen raisins and add them. Add any spices you like, if you are so inclined. Cover and leave overnight.

The next day, remove the now-sodden bread slices from a liquid that should smell very bready and be a deep brown in color. Squeeze some of the liquid out of the bread, but don't squeeze too much or you'll make filtration more difficult later.

Mix in a hundred grams of sugar and some yeast, then strain into two well-cleaned quart mason jars or equivalent sealable glass containers. Rinse a dozen new raisins per jar and add them, then cap the jars.

Put these in a warm place for two days. Above my refrigerator there is a cabinet that is terrible for keeping dry goods in because the warmth of the radiator below makes everything rapidly go stale; however, it is perfect for when I actually _want_ to encourage fungal activity.

After the two days have passed, strain the curious fizzy brown solution through a cheesecloth, a towel, or a shirt you don't hold in very high regard, into two new very clean jars, then refrigerate. Kvass is best served cold.

Do not use coffee filters. I repeat, DO NOT use coffee filters. It will take forever and you will hate it.

Kvass is slightly alcoholic, and how much so depends on the quantity of sugar, the temperature of fermentation, and the duration of fermentation. I drank half of it this morning and my head feels slightly funny 9v6

2. The Okroshka

Okroshka is a cold soup that uses kvass as its broth.

Normally okroshka uses sour cream, mayonnaise, and some kind of sausage. These are all animal products and I will have none of it. Here is what you need:

• A potato


• A bundle of parsley


• A bundle of dill


• A bundle of green onions


• Several radishes


• Mustard


• A jar of sauerkraut


• A jar of vegan mayonnaise¹


• A kilogram's worth of "grain meat" from the store or homemade seitan² if you can't find the former


• Salt

Cut the grain meat into slices no more than half a centimeter thick and fry them in a pan with a small amount of oil and add it to a large mixing bowl. Usually this stuff is made from wheat gluten or soy.

Cook the potato however you like--boil it, microwave it a few minutes, whatever works for you. Then cut it into cubes one to two centimeters in size. Don't peel them. The skin is good for you. Add it to the bowl.

Wash and chop the greens and the radishes, then add them to the bowl. Now dump in a generous amount of sauerkraut, similar in mass to the not-actually-meat. The purpose of the sauerkraut is to add tanginess, since there is no sour cream here. Add mustard to taste, or horseradish if you like.

Next, add a similarly generous amount of the vegan mayonnaise. Mix that all together. You should have a great big bowl of green and white stuff that smells amazing. You are nearly done! This is the most storable form, lacking only one ingredient, so feel free to set some aside to freeze for later.

Now portion some into a serving bowl, pour kvass over it, and salt to taste. Serve with a glass of kvass, because they can't help but go well together.


Except for the footnotes and vegan modifications, this is mostly adapted from this kvass recipe and this okroshka recipe, and from my experiences in following them.


Note 1: If you can't find vegan mayonnaise, use the water from a can of chickpeas, a whisk, some salt, some sugar, and some sunflower oil, or whatever other oil you'd like to use, and lemon juice or vinegar. Whip the funky bean-water until it forms stiff peaks, mix in sugar to taste, then gradually mix in the oil; then mix in the sour stuff and the salt until is tangy and salty enough for you. This is easiest with a motorized whisk. You can do it manually, but it's a real workout. This is aquafaba mayonnaise, of course. You can do much more with aquafaba than make meringues.

Note 2: Seitan is easy to make. First, get a five-pound bag of flour, dump it into a large mixing bowl, and add enough water to make a typical dough. Knead until stiff. Divide it into three balls, then soak them in a bucket of water overnight. The next day, take each ball and knead it in some water until you get most of the starch out and you have this weird spongy stringy eldritch-looking thing. That's gluten. Knead some spices into it--I recommend making a Weißwurst spice mix, e.g. salt, parsley, ground white pepper, granulated lemon, granulated orange peel, onion powder, and garlic powder--and cut it into smaller pieces, stuff them into an ice cube tray, and freeze them for later use. If you thaw these and cut them into slices and fry them into a pan, it's amazing.

Now that I am on day shift, going outside is no longer depressing.

Skyridge Park is once again a serene and beautiful place: Dense woodland and a few well-maintained trails with a couple of wooden bridges and benches, accompanied by the sound of singing birds and flowing streams. Though a little narrow, the largest of the bridges is big enough to do the Yang taijiquan long form on, and after that I can go to the bench nearby, see nothing but forest, and sit down and draw things for a while.

Birds prefer to have a lot of room for some movements, particularly "white crane fans its wings" and "step back and repulse monkey". You should always be ready to repulse monkeys.

The park appears to be well-populated with spotted towhees. I am particularly fond of these talkative birds. They are not so shy when they have lots of trees and thick underbrush to hide in. Like most songbirds, they sleep at night, so I am thankful to have their company again.

I feel like I should emit more syllables here, so I am going to do just that! I can emit syllables nearly all day long, but I must pause to eat and to sleep, which constrains my duty cycle somewhat.

Oops, I just did that thing where I hit ^w twice and killed this tab and an unknown innocent bystander. premchaia_pre4 told me to get in the habit of using M-backspace and I keep forgetting because it feels slightly more awkward and I just go back to using ^w.

( Additional syllables follow. )

We'll have to destroy them ship to ship.